What we all have the same is that we want to be happy, that we are content, that we are happy with ourselves.
When you are happy, you have more peace, a great sense of gratitude and, for example, less frustration and anger. You have a feeling of contentment and equanimity.
Being and staying happy is a process and something you have to continue to work on. And actually how you do that is not even that complicated. There are several ways that can help you, that you can apply daily, to bring about an internal change that will ultimately make you (more) happy and satisfied and will remain so.
Years of research into happiness
There have been many studies done over the last decades that have investigated happiness and although they may have different approaches, they have many general overlapping conclusions.
There are specialists such as psychiatrists who have specialized in the phenomenon of happiness and there are many books that describe how to become and stay happier.
Studies have been done that measure the brain, for example what meditation does for you, and show that the brain is less active during meditation, which, in short, makes you less tense, can think more clearly, is more creative, and which contributes to your well-being, and therefore happier.
An example of another study is one from over 75 years, in which they followed people and had them fill out questionnaires for years, and they looked at what makes and keeps us healthy and happy. They found that happiness is not about wealth or fame or working harder and harder, but that having good relationships is the key.
You can watch Robert Waldinger’s 2015 Ted talk that was part of this study via this link.
9 ways to help you become and stay happier
By the way, feeling happy and being happy are not the same. Feeling happy is a short moment, for example when something nice happens to you. Or on the other hand, feeling unhappy for a while when something unpleasant or sad happens in your life. Being happy is an emotion, a deeper and long-lasting feeling of contentment, love, peace and well-being.
Here's how to increase your happiness
Maintain your social contacts
From the research described above, good relationships turned out to be the most important thing. And that doesn’t necessarily mean having a partner. In fact, you can be better off being single than being in a bad relationship.
It’s about the quality you have with your close relationships; your partner, family, good friends. Quality is more important than quantity. And people who is not beneficial for you (anymore), or even bring you down… Maybe it’s time to let them go.
Smile
You can trick your brain into feeling happy, even if you don’t feel it inside, by smiling. Signals are then passed on that actually make you feel better. How simple is that!? You can do it at any time of the day, anywhere.
And isn’t it nicer to receive a smile than someone looking at you neutrally or even grumpily!?
Buy moments, not things
When you think back to a happy moment in your life, what comes to mind?
There is a good chance that something was together with a person or another living being.
Buying moments does not necessarily have to be that you have booked a trip, a dinner with someone, done a certain activity somewhere. It can of course also be a walk in the woods, a cup of coffee with someone, or whatever. These activities do not have to cost any or little money.
You can certainly be very happy when you buy something new, I certainly am, but know that this is a short moment of feeling happy and not of being happy. There is nothing wrong with being happy about a new pair of shoes, but you will probably not remember that moment as a moment of happiness after a while.
Don't compare yourself to others
If you look at what others have or can do and you don’t, it creates a negative stimulus. And that doesn’t really make you happy. Or comparing yourself to someone you think looks better is pure ego and doesn’t really help you.
We often compare ourselves very quickly, often before we consciously realize it.
Other people can inspire you to set goals or become aware of certain things, but comparing yourself gives a focus on what you don’t have, instead of what you do have
Practice gratitude
Yes, if you focus on what is going well in your life, it has a huge effect on your sense of well-being.
If you write down every day what you are grateful for that day, this seems to have an effect on your brain, and therefore an effect on how you feel. Now, it is not a ‘quick fix’ and it seems to have a really lasting positive effect if you do it over a longer period of time.
In my blog The positive power of Gratitude, 3 exercises, you can read more about this.
Say affirmations
Affirmations are positively formulated sentences that you repeat regularly. You write them in the first person and in the present tense.
By doing this you (re)program your brain. After a while, it will actually start to believe that what you say is true. You use affirmations to achieve a goal or to change a belief you have about yourself.
More information: what are affirmations and how do you use them, plus a video with explanation and a guided meditation can be found.
Practice yoga, mindfulness and/or meditation
There have also been many studies done on the positive effects of yoga, mindfulness and meditation.
Not every yoga style is the same and that also applies to meditation. And within the mindfulness trainings you also have a lot of variation. If you don’t do any of them yet, my advice would be, just go and see what and who suits you. And you can practice mindfulness very simply, such as mindful drinking, or do a silent walking meditation. You really don’t have to sit still for an hour to meditate.
Yoga is both mentally and physically strenuous and relaxing. Within yoga you also practice breathing techniques and meditation.
Mindfulness ensures, among other things, more awareness of yourself and your environment, gives you insights and relaxation.
Meditation can, for example, give you immediate calm and relaxation, but certainly in the long run; you increase your concentration and your awareness and it can provide more equanimity. In The power of meditation, you can read 11 benefits of meditation.
With more awareness and self-insight you can bring about changes in a gentle and loving way.
Take up a hobby you enjoy
Hobbies can be anything; gardening, crocheting, reading, cooking, team sports, making music, writing, photography, puzzles, woodworking, painting, drawing, yoga, wine tasting, endurance sports, making jewelry, cycling, meditation, reading aloud, basically anything is possible if it is something you do.
Maybe your work is also your hobby! Great.
Doing or making something is good for the brain and your happiness hormone.
Take time for yourself
Of course, healthy eating, exercise and a good night’s sleep are important for a good lifestyle. But do you also take time for yourself; a moment to relax completely, or to recharge, to enjoy something. If you miss that, you could schedule this in your agenda: Self-care appointments with yourself.
I have also written a blog before about Me Time, why taking time for yourself is important.
As with many things the advice: Set small goals
If you have a big goal in mind, it is useful to divide it into smaller goals and possibly even smaller goals. These smaller goals make your steps towards the bigger goal concrete and achievable.
Implementing the 9 ways I have described in your life at once may be quite a challenge 😉, just take it step by step. See what suits you and plan things to experience.
For example, the first point on how to become and stay happier: your social contacts; call that one friend again, make an appointment with that other friend, or maybe you want to take a step in making up with that one family member, etc.
Goals certainly do not have to, or perhaps do not, have to do with matter.
The goals I set for myself are now mainly intrinsic; such as the goal of being equanimous: by being as aware as possible in and around me, applying self-reflection, being open to feedback, listening to my intuition and acting accordingly. With this as the goal to become a better version of myself, for my own well-being but certainly also to be able to help others even better.
Hi, my name is Jolinda, and I work as a holistic health practitioner. I provide yoga and meditation classes and massage and Reiki treatments, mindfulness training and happiness coaching,.
With my blogs I hope to inspire you to make positive changes into your life. For more ideas and tips check out my page Jolindas inspiration. Free trainings and videos you can find at free downloads and videos
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