Passing away of your dog can cause intense grief and a great emptiness. And just like when a person passes away, you enter a process of mourning.
For many people, our dog is more than a pet, but a buddy, a friend and part of the family.
I am writing this article to give you ideas on how to deal with the loss of your pet.
After my dog passed away, I was looking for ways to deal with the intense grief and have put together these tips and experiences. And I hope you find this useful.
For me personally, the loss of my dog was more intense than previous experiences with cats. This certainly does not mean that it is the same for other people. If you have lost a pet other than a dog, the following points can certainly help you as well.
How do you cope with the loss of your dog?
Just like grieving for a person, the grieving process for a dog or other pet is also different for each person.
There is no clear line as to how a grieving process proceeds.
I think it is important that you take your time, let your feelings be there and accept that what you feel is okay. It can help enormously to talk to other people, but it may also be that people in your immediate environment cannot understand your grief well. In that case, sharing experiences with people who have been through the same thing may help you better. Reading about grief can provide insight. And rituals and creating a memorial can also support you in your grieving process.
Allow yourself to grieve
Perhaps a strange first piece of advice, but really allow yourself to go through your grieving process. It is important to recognize that grieving for your pet is normal and healthy. The loss of your dog can be just as intense as a human passing away, if not more so. That is why it is important that you do not deny or minimize your feelings. And that you take your time and do not immediately throw yourself into everyday life.
Acknowledge your feelings and give them space
Grief is raw and can come in many forms. And there is no ‘right’ way. It is important that you allow yourself to feel sad, angry, or guilty. It may also be that somewhere deep inside you feel relieved, for example if your dog was very sick and/or in pain and you feel guilty about that feeling of relief.
Give yourself the space to feel and process these emotions.
Give yourself time to grieve
Because everyone grieves in their own way, it is difficult to indicate how long a grieving process lasts. This can be a month, but also a year, for example. And even years later, a moment of intense sadness can overtake you. It is normal to have a period of intense sadness, and that it can come and go in waves.
Whatever you experience and feel, it is allowed. No one determines how long you are sad. So grieve at your own pace.
Also know that you will have good and bad days. Those bad days too will pass.
A farewell ritual can help you
Say goodbye in your own way. Some people bury their dog in their garden, in a special cemetery or somewhere else. Others have their dog cremated and keep the ashes (mixed with other ashes or not) in a nice jar or in something else. You can also choose to leave your animal with the vet and they will take care of it. That is also perfectly fine.
The soul of your dog is out of the body and your dog really doesn’t care whether you have a grave, ashes or maybe just a lock of hair. What you decide to do is what feels right for you or what is perhaps financially feasible.
Performing a symbolic act, a ritual, can help you to give your emotions a place.
Some examples:
Gratitude ritual for your dog
This helped me a lot personally. It did give an intense sadness, but it felt like a kind of sting was taken out of the pain.
How can you do this ritual?
Sit quietly and make sure you can’t be disturbed and feel free to talk out loud, or if you prefer, whisper.
Take some time to think about your dog. You can also hold something of him or her in your hands; a photo, name tag, a lock of hair, or whatever.
Start by saying what you want to thank him or her for; the time you were together, what your dog meant to you, certain situations, memories, whatever comes to mind. Express your gratitude. And allow every emotion that comes up.
Even if you don’t feel anything at first or if it feels a bit strange to do this, just continue calmly.
Sorry ritual to your dog
After the “thank you” ritual, you can also say “sorry”, for whatever reason.
For example, that you had her/him put to sleep, did not notice an illness right away, that you forgot something in the past, or were angry with him/her once, that you were not there when your dog died, that she/he had to go to a shelter for a certain reason, etc.
Try not to think too much, but say what comes to mind. And here too, observe what you feel and allow it.
This ritual of saying “Thank you” and “sorry” can help you find more peace, give space to your feelings and express your love for your dog.
As a Reiki master I have combined these rituals with a distance healing treatment for my dog. This is also possible if an animal has already passed away.
For me, this gave me more space and peace within myself.
But of course you can also do this ritual if you are not a reiki practitioner.
Your love and attention will help you.
Write a letter to your dog
If expressing your gratitude and/or saying sorry out loud isn’t really your thing, you can also write your dog a letter in which you describe your love, the joy she/he has given you. And here too, as in the ritual above, you can write down what you want to say sorry for.
Writing down your gratitude and apologies can help you enormously. And you can read it again later if you wish
Create a memorial
In addition to a grave or urn pot, you can (also) plant a tree or make a flower bed in memory of your dog. Or create a spot in your home with a photo with possibly other things that remind you of your dog and you can light a candle there. Or hang an entire wall full of photos, whatever you want, or make a beautiful photo book. For example, I have a beautiful photo of my dog on my home screen of my phone. Every time I open my phone, she looks right at me, and despite the loss, it makes me feel good.
If you have videos, you can make a beautiful compilation.
Tangible memories can give you comfort and help you remember the beautiful moments you shared together.
Talk to others or a professional
Talking about your loss can help you enormously in your processing. Share your feelings with friends or family who understand how important your dog was to you and also tell about your fun and beautiful moments together. It can also happen that there are people who cannot imagine how you feel, or who rarely or not at all contact you. That can be painful. It may even affect your friendship. But support can also come from an unexpected source.
If you don’t have people in your immediate circle who have experienced a similar loss or who can’t support you, you can look online or perhaps locally for a grief group specifically for pet loss.
Sharing your story with others can give you comfort and help you feel less alone.
You don’t have to do this alone!
If you find that talking to others is not enough, and your loss of your dog is so intense that it is difficult to process, do not hesitate to seek professional help! There are grief therapists and counselors who specialize in pet loss who can guide and support you through this difficult time.
Keep taking good care of yourself
Perhaps a no-brainer, but grieving can take a lot of energy, both emotionally and physically. Sometimes people forget this. Chances are that you sleep badly, have little appetite, feel tense, or have a somewhat ‘short temper’. So try to really take good care of yourself, and in addition to sufficient sleep or rest and healthy food, also exercise sufficiently.
You can do relaxation exercises, meditate or practice yoga. Go to the sauna, have a massage, take a nice walk on the beach. That helps you both physically and mentally.
If you do not have another pet, see if you can continue to do the morning and/or evening walks you used to do with your dog, even though it can feel very painful and empty. This can give you structure in addition to exercising outdoors.
Another or new dog?
If you miss your dog very much, it may be that, especially in the beginning, you find it unpleasant to see other people walking a dog. Just allow those feelings.
What can help you with your loss, if that feels good to you and you are ready for it, is to look after other dogs, or help with walking them. You can also see if you can volunteer at an animal shelter to help other dogs.
Maybe you don’t want to think about it at all now, and it might even feel like ‘replacing’, but it is very possible that at some point you will be ready to take a new dog into your home. This does not mean that you forget your other dog, but that you are open to sharing your love with a dog again. Then really take the time until you feel that you are ready for it.
Your dog will always remain in your heart
Your dog will always have a special place in your heart. Try to look back on the beautiful moments you had together. The moments when your heart overflowed with love and joy; the naughty things your dog did, the beautiful places you walked, the playing together and the relaxing moments, such as lying together on the couch. Even though your dog is no longer physically with you, that special bond you had, that connection through love, that will remain in your heart.
Cherish the beautiful memories!
The photo with this article shows my dog Hulkie.
She passed away on August 26, 2024 at the age of 10.
The photo was taken when we were in the Wadi Rum desert in Jordan.
Online energetic support when grieving for your dog or other pet
As a Reiki master, I give energetic treatments to both people and animals. This can also be done online. If your pet has passed away, a treatment can support you mentally during this period of mourning.
You can also take a treatment for your deceased dog or other pet. That may sound strange, but energy goes beyond time and space.
I will link back to you what I feel or see during this treatment. This can give you a lot of peace and resignation. The soul of your dog, if you believe in this, will stay with you as long as you think of him or her.
Read more general information about reiki on this page, and you can read more about how an online treatment works on the distance reiki page.
Hi, my name is Jolinda, and I work as a holistic health practitioner. I provide yoga and meditation classes and massage and Reiki treatments, mindfulness training and happiness coaching,.
With my blogs I hope to inspire you to make positive changes into your life. For more ideas and tips check out my page Jolindas inspiration. Free trainings and videos you can find at free downloads and videos
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